"Shit happens"

Here are some quotes from a poster I bought in England, that's just so funny I couldn't resist.
So, this is actually a series of aphorisms on the theme of "shit happens"…

* Atheism: "I don't believe this shit"
* Agnosticism: "can you prove that shit happens?"
* Televangelism: "Send money or shit will happen to you"
* Jeovah witness: "knock, knock, shit happens"
* Capitalism: "this is MY shit"
* Feminism: "men are shit"
* Existentialism: "what is shit anyway"
* Mormonism: "excrement happens (don't say shit)"
* Communism: "let's share the shit"
* Conspiracy Theorism: "THEY shit on us"
* Psychoanalysis: "tell me about your shit"
* Freud: "shit is a phallic symbol"
* Amish: "modern shit is useless"
* Shakespearian: "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
* Descartes: "I shit therefore I am"
* Politically correct: "internally-processed, nutritionally-drained, biological ouput happens"
* Einstein: "shit is relative"
* Vegetarianism: "if it happens to shit, don't eat it!"
* Fatalism: "oh shit, it's going to happen"
* Americanism: "who gives a shit?"
* Disneyism: "bad shit doesn't happen here"